✨🧠 therapy lately

AI DISCLAIMER AKA EXCUSES PROBABLY
AI was used to create many parts of this website.

While I know how to code and love web design, my knowledge with interactive design is extremely limited. I want to acknowledge something about this website, because I think it would be pretty hypocritical of me not to. I'm aware of the very real harm that AI is causing. The environmental impact alone is significant. The energy and water required to power these systems, the resources used to build them, and the communities that are affected by all of that. And then there's the human side of it. People's work being used without their permission, jobs being displaced, misinformation, the ways AI can reinforce biases, and the increasingly blurry line between what's real and what isn't. I also recognize that some of what I'm about to say could very easily be considered an excuse. Because at the end of the day, if you're truly opposed to AI and everything that comes with it, then choosing not to use it at all is probably the most consistent position you can take. I can acknowledge that while also admitting that it's not the position I've chosen. I don't think AI is going anywhere. And while I don't think that means we should just accept everything that comes with it, I do think that if we're going to use it, we should at least be intentional about why we're using it and what we're using it for. I've always believed there's a time and a place for almost everything, and I think this might be one of those places. I'm someone who has a really difficult time identifying where I feel things in my body. Sometimes I know I'm feeling something, but I can't quite figure out what it is, what to call it, or where it's coming from. And even when I do have the words, understanding what those feelings are trying to tell me is an entirely different thing. These are things I've spent a lot of time trying to understand about myself, and they're not always easy to find clear, accessible explanations for. So I wanted to create something that brought some of those things together in one place. Something I could actually use. A place to explore what emotions feel like, how they show up in our bodies, what might be happening beneath them, and what we can do when we're struggling to make sense of any of it. This website was created with the help of AI, but the reason it exists is a very human one. It came from my own questions, my own experiences, and my own desire to understand myself a little better. I don't think that makes the concerns about AI any less valid. I don't think good intentions erase harm, either. I just think it's possible to hold both of those truths at the same time, even when they're uncomfortable. For now, this is something I've made for myself. Maybe someday it'll be something I share with other people, and maybe someone else will find something useful here too. But whether anyone else ever sees it or not, I wanted to make something that helps me put words to things I've spent a long time trying to understand.

I also want to acknowledge the war that is therapy vs AI. I think there are some very legitimate concerns about people turning to AI for the kind of care, connection, and understanding that should come from other human beings. Girl, let me tell you... No conversational AI, generative AI, AI companion, AI chatbot, or LLM can replace my therapist. Don't let anyone convince you that one can replace yours, either, or the person who should be sitting across from you, whether that's online or in person. That being said, therapy is a privilege, and it's not one that everyone is fortunate enough to have access to. I think more people need to understand that. It's easy to tell someone to go to therapy when you have the resources, time, money, and access to do so yourself. But even as someone who is fortunate enough to be in therapy, I know that access isn't guaranteed. There have been times, and there will probably be times again, when therapy isn't something I can easily afford. Times when I'll have to decide between paying for therapy and paying for something else that also needs to be paid for. I think all of these things deserve to be acknowledged. AI isn't a replacement for human connection or professional mental health care, but I also don't think we can have an honest conversation about the dangers of people relying on AI for emotional support without acknowledging why some people are turning to it in the first place.